Spark of Life
by Queen-of-Gondor
Summary: Finished SEQUEL to
1. Chapter 1

A/N: This is the Sequel to "I'm sorry". It's for all who wanted Spike to come back!   
  
Disclaimer: Nothing belongs to me )-:  
  
Chapter 1 - Coming back  
  
Pain.  
This was all he had felt for such a very long time.   
A time which seemed like centuries to him, but on earth only a few weeks had passed. He knew it and at the same time he didn't. It didn't matter to him, nothing mattered to him anymore.  
Spike was in hell.  
Every day was filled with torture and pain, caused by demons with the faces of his victims.   
They burned and cut his skin, they hit and kicked him, starved him and bathed him in holy water.  
But what was almost worse than that were the pictures he had to look at for hours every day. Most of the pictures showed Buffy and Dawn dead, mangled. Or one of the other scoobies.   
Giles, Xander, Anya...  
It was hard to see that, even though he knew that those images weren't real it hurt him to see them.  
The vampire missed Buffy, her friends and the Nibblet.   
His lil' bit.  
He wondered wether they missed him as well.  
Probably not.   
They had shown him many times that they only wanted him around when he had been able to do something to help them. No they hadn't cared for him, not even Buffy.  
No, this was not entirely right. Dawn had cared for him. She had obviously loved it to be with him and to talk for hours. They had had so much fun together, even though he had never admited it. He only hoped that she knew how much he had cared.  
It had been very hard for those hell beasts to break him. For years he hadn't begged them to stop. Of course he had screamed when they had tortured him, but no plea had ever left his lips.   
But after what seemed like an eternety he didn't care about pride anymore. He only wanted them to stop and one day he finally gave in. He begged them to stop.   
For years he begged and screamed and whimpered.  
And then, when he felt that it was of no use, he fell silent.   
He didn't have the strenght to fight anymore. No sound left his his lips for many years, he was so tired in body and soul.  
Not even once he tried to break free from the chains that held his naked and broken body all the time.  
The thought of being like this for all eternety nearly drove him insane. But he didn't lose his mind, though it seemed to be the easiest way.   
But every time when he thought he couldn't go on like that he saw a picture of Dawn before his eyes, smiling at him, cheerfully calling his name and hugging him when nobody else was around. Those memories gave him the strenght he so needed to endure all this.   
It was the only thing which prevented him from losing his mind completely.  
  
**********  
  
Dawn had done exactly the same things as she had done months ago.  
When her mother had died.  
She had stolen an egg of of the Ghora. Of course it had been very dangerous for the girl to do it alone, but the last thing she could have done was asking one of the Scoobies for help.   
And Spike wasn't there anymore.  
So she had climbed down to the demon's nest and she had been unbelieveable lucky. The Gora hadn't been there, probably out to get some food.   
Dawn didn't even want to know what this creature was eating.  
As fast as possible she had stolen one of the eggs and then she had gone home directly.  
Buffy, Willow and Tara weren't at home. Willow and Tara were just visiting Willow's parents and Buffy was with Giles, again they had to fight some demons. Her sister wouldn't be back before tomorrow.  
She had waited for two months to get such a chance.  
Once at home she placed the egg carefully on her bed for she didn't want it to break. She would probably not be so lucky again.   
Then she took her colors and painted a picture of Spike.   
She was very good in painting pictures and she was more than satisfied with the result.   
It was a picture of a man standing next to a crypt, his face was half in shadow but his bright blue eyes where sparkling in the moonlight. There was a cigarette between his lips and he wore a long, black coat.  
He had very high cheekbones and short, blond hair.  
Spike, it wasn't hard to recognize him at all. It really looked like him and Dawn was even a little proud of herself.  
Now she made everything ready for the spell.  
Of course something had been wrong with her mother when she had come back, but this was different. Spike had been a vampire, Dawn hoped that this would help. Maybe vampires couldn't come back wrong.   
Nevertheless she was afraid. She couldn't be sure that everything would be alright with him when he came back and she remembered very well how hard it had been to tear apart the picture of Joyce to make it all undone.   
The last thing she wanted was to be forced to do this again.   
But on the other hand she just couldn't bear the thought of Spike suffering in hell for all eternety, without any comfort.  
She loved him so much, he had always been there for her and now he needed her. There was no other choice but to try.   
A few hours before she had left some clothes at his grave. If it worked and he came back he would need it. Not much, just a black shirt, a black jeans and a pair of shoes. His favorite leather coat was lying on her bed, Buffy had allowed her to keep it.  
"He would have wanted you to have it", her older sister had said.  
When the spell was done she sat down on the mattress and pulled herself into the coat.  
If it had worked he would come to her.  
At least she hoped that he would come here.  
It was 10 pm now and if he wouldn't come until 3 am she would go out to search for him. Maybe he would go to his crypt.   
But coming back from the death was surely very scary, he probably wouldn't want to be alone.   
At least she hoped so.   
Walking around in the dark streets of Sunnydale wasn't something Dawn liked to do.  
But for Spike she would.  
Bringing him back from hell and leaving him alone then wasn't fair. He was probably confused and scared.  
He would need someone to tell him what had happened.  
  
**********  
  
One of the hell demons came towards him and he knew what would come now. The monster with the face of a man he had once killed, he didn't even remember when or where this had taken place, had a sword in one of his hands.  
Soon the weapon would be driven into his flesh, his stomach, his chest or his shoulder. He would most likely be tortured like this for hours.  
The chains held him on the wall and so he couldn't do anything but wait for it to end.   
His whole body was covered with wounds and he was terribly thin because of the starvation.  
Tired blue eyes didn't leave the blade as it came towards him  
Then it entered his stomach and a terrible pain nearly made him scream. The blade was hot which made the torture even worse.  
But suddenly a blazing light drove the demon away.  
Spike wasn't able to see anything but light and for a few moments even the pain was gone. To be honest, he didn't feel anything at all.  
Of course he didn't know what happened to him but it didn't really scare him.   
For a few seconds he felt so peaceful.  
When he could feel again he was surrounded by earth and the pain of the wounds were back.  
He hadn't had any blood for so long and he was weak. It nearly took him an hour and a half to get out of the grave.  
For the first time since hundreds of years, at least it had been that long in hell, he breathed in fresh air. He had stopped breathing when he had left the real world, the air in hell had been so terrible that it had been a pure torture to feel it in his lungs.  
For a moment he looked around and he discovered a headstone. He hadn't read anything for many years but it wasn't too hard to remember the letters.   
  
Spike (William)  
May your sins be forgiven   
We will never forget you  
RIP  
  
It was his grave.  
They had buried him and now he was back!   
Finally out of hell.  
Or was it just another trick to make him feel even worse?   
No! He finally had found hope again, he couldn't let it go now.  
Next to the tombstone there were a few clothes. Black trousers and a black shirt and shoes. He tried to put them on, but this wasn't easy at all.  
Everytime his wounds were touched he winced in pain. The broken bones made it even harder for him to get to his feet. As soon as he was standing he felt horrible dizzy. The bloodloss and the pain made him weak and with every step it grew harder to walk.  
After more than three hours he finally reached Sunnydale.  
He wondered how long he had been away. When he walked through the dark streets he realized that the town had hardly changed. It couldn't have been too long.  
With every noise he winced and looked around. He was still scared that those demons would come back, that everything would start all over again.   
Suddenly he heared someone coming from behind him and as he turned around he looked into a familiar face.  
Rupert Giles!   
  
TBC 


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: I hope you like the second chapter as well! Please review and tell me what you think!!!  
  
Chapter 2 - Back in Life  
  
Dawn slowly stood up and got dressed.  
  
She had to search for Spike. He was probably wandering through the dark streets, not knowing what was going on.  
  
Suddenly she heared something.  
  
Spike?  
  
As fast as she could she ran down the stairs to find... Buffy.  
  
Why was she already here?  
  
She wasn't supposed to be at home until tomorrow.   
  
"Hey, what are you doing here so soon?"  
  
"The demon wasn't as dangerous as we thought", she said smiling a little. "Why are you still up?"  
  
"I... uh... I couldn't sleep", she lied.  
  
Then Buffy noticed the black coat in her sister's arms and sighed sadly. "Is it still because of Spike?"  
  
"Yeah, I... I had a bad dream." She tried to pretend but then a piece of paper, which had been in one of the pockets of the coat, fell to the ground.  
  
Before Dawn could react Buffy picked it up and looked at it. What she saw was a beautiful picture of Spike. Doubtlessly her sister had painted it.  
  
"Oh, Dawnie! That's wonderful!"  
  
"Be careful with it!" Dawn nearly shouted. If the spell had worked and Spike had come back he would be gone again if anything happend to the picture.  
  
She couldn't let that happen!  
  
"Don't worry." To Buffy it seemed that her sister was clearly overreacting. But on the other hand she also knew how much she missed her friend. Probably she had painted this picture to have something to remember him, maybe she felt like this was her last connection to the vampire who had been like a big brother to her.  
  
Finally the slayer handed the picture back to Dawn.  
  
"Sorry I shouted at you", the girl mumbled.   
  
"That's alright." Buffy tried very hard to sound as always, but in the truth was that she was close to tears. To see this picture had now had brought back so many memories. It really looked so real, a camera couldn't have made it much better. For the first time she realized that Dawn was extremly talented. "Come on now. You really should try to get some sleep."  
  
The two sisters went upstairs but then Dawn remembered that she hadn't cleaned up after the spell for she hadn't expected Buffy to be home so soon.  
  
"Buffy, I can go to bed myself..."   
  
But it was too late already. The slayer had opened the door to her sister's bedroom and now stopped abruptly.  
  
"Dawn, what have you done?"  
  
An awkward silence followed, then the teenager finally answered.  
  
"Well... I..."   
  
She didn't get the chance to continue.   
  
**********  
  
Buffy stared into Dawn's room.  
  
She asked what had happened but then she figured out herself.  
  
The picture, the things in her room.  
  
"Well... I..."  
  
"You have brought him back!", Buffy whispered and her eyes widened.  
  
Dawn's eyes were full of tears and she couldn't speak. After a few moments she managed a small nod.  
  
"Oh no! Tell me that's not true!" She couldn't manage to say more. Her sister had brought something back.  
  
Something that would look like Spike.   
  
But would it also be like him?  
  
Her mother had come back wrong and she had been human.  
  
What would become of a vampire when he came back from the grave?  
  
"Buffy, please don't be mad!", Dawn pleaded. "I had to try. The thought that Spike could be in hell... I just couldn't stand it."  
  
For a few moments the slayer closed her eyes.  
  
No, she couldn't be mad at her.   
  
She took a deep breath before she spoke again. "Ok, we can't make it undone before we know wether he's like he has been before. But you know that we have to destroy the picture if anything is wrong with him."  
  
Dawn only nodded and then they took the picture and left the house.  
  
**********  
  
Giles had brought Buffy home and now he was on the way to his apartment.  
  
When he was nearly there he saw someone walking on the sidewalk. The watcher was pretty sure that it was a man, but something was wrong with him.   
  
First he thought that the stranger was drunk for he stumbled more than once. But then he saw that he was in great pain. He held his stomach and his rips. He tried to avoid to use his right leg and he looked around all the time as if he was afraid of something.  
  
Immediatly Giles stopped the car, got out and walked towards the man.   
  
It was too dark to see his face but in the light of one of the street lamps he could see blood in the curly brown hair.  
  
When the stranger saw him he flinched back and for a moment Giles thought he would try to flee - but then he froze and stared at him.  
  
Slowly the watcher approached him. "Don't worry. I won't hurt you."  
  
The man before him took a step forward and a silent moan escaped his lips. Yes, he clearly was in pain.  
  
But that wasn't the reason why Giles held his breath.   
  
This man wasn't a stranger to him.  
  
It was Spike!  
  
**********  
  
Even though the wounds the hell demons had caused him hurt terribly Spike walked one step forward, then he stopped again.   
  
He still wasn't sure that all this wasn't just a new trick, something to torture him like never before.  
  
Maybe they just tried to make him hope once more so it would be easier to break him for good.   
  
But Giles seemed to be as surprised as he was.  
  
That didn't change too much, though. Still Spike didn't dare to move.  
  
"My god!" He could hear him say. "Spike, is... is this you?"  
  
The vampire hadn't spoken for centuries, at least in hell it had been that long, he couldn't bring himself to say a word right now.  
  
"Spike?", the other man tried again and moved towards him.   
  
He stood perfectly still until the watcher reached out to him with his right hand. He remembered the pain and flinched back, his eyes wide with fear once more.  
  
"Easy, I won't hurt you. God, what has happened to you?"  
  
Once more Giles reached out to touch him and this time he didn't shy back. In fact he moved towards him as well and leaned onto him.  
  
After a moment of surprise the former librarian gently wrapped his arms around him.  
  
He needed the support right now and it felt good to be held, even though the broken bones hurt more this way.  
  
The vampire still wasn't able to say anything or at least to cry. He just rested his head on Giles' shoulder, closed his eyes and tried to find some peace at last.  
  
***********  
  
Giles was more than amazed when the vampire suddenly fell in his arms.   
  
He had never been so open before, this night was truly full of surprises.   
  
After a few moments Giles had needed to get over the shock he carefully took Spike in his arms. The vampire didn't move anymore, he just placed his head on the watcher's shoulder and made no sound. He didn't even cry, sigh or moan.   
  
Nothing.  
  
Giles didn't move as well, afraid of hurting the other man even more. He could see the terrible wounds, of course he didn't know what had caused them but he knew that they must hurt him terribly.  
  
Still he wondered how it was possible that Spike was here. They had burried his ashed in the wood.   
  
Someone had obviously brought him back.  
  
But who could have done that?  
  
He really didn't know but he knew where the vampire had been. Giles was pretty sure that the hurt had been done to him in hell. It was a wonder that he had been able to walk to Sunnydale.   
  
After nearly 15 minutes the watcher gently broke away and looked into Spike's eyes. What he saw was only pain and a great weariness.   
  
"Come with me, Spike", he said in a tender voice. "My car is over there." He pointed at it. "I will take you home with me."  
  
The vampier just nodded, he still hadn't said a word.  
  
**********  
  
The watcher pointed at his car and then he turned around and walked towards it, still supporting Spike.  
  
Without hesitation the vampire followed Giles and within a minute he sat in the car.   
  
Giles sat down next to him and for the first time he realized the confused and worried look in the watcher's eyes.  
  
He wanted to tell him what had happened but he couldn't. For so many years he hadn't used his voice and now it seemed as if he wasn't able to anymore.   
  
All he could do was sitting there quietly and waiting for them to arrive at Giles' apartment.   
  
He was so tired and badly wanted to rest.  
  
TBC 


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: I hope you still like it!  
  
Thanks to Jennifer for beta-reading!   
  
Chapter 3  
  
Buffy drove as fast as she could until they arrived at the forest. There the two sisters left the car and ran to the place where the vampire's grave was.  
  
Like they had expected the earth had been disturbed, someone or something had found its way out. The clothes Dawn had left for Spike were gone.  
  
But was it really the same Spike they had known?  
  
"Ok," Buffy said. "Now we know that you have succeeded, but we still have to find out where he is."  
  
The slayer carefully inspected the ground. There was a track leading away from the grave. The problems he had had with walking were obvious; if he had been in hell he was probably still hurt.   
  
Maybe badly.  
  
"Buffy..." Dawn's voice was quiet and her older sister immediately came over to her.   
  
The girl was looking at the ground, her eyes wide and sad. At first Buffy wondered what she was staring at but then she saw it as well: There was blood!  
  
Not much, but there was no doubt of what it was.  
  
"It doesn't have to be from Spike," Buffy tried to comfort her younger sister, even though she didn't believe it herself. "It could be the blood of an animal or something. I don't think that it's his." This was a lie and it was hard for her to hold back her feelings.  
  
The guilt was coming back.   
  
If she had been more careful Spike never would have died and everything would be alright now. He would not have been forced to face hell and Dawn wouldn't have gone to the Ghora's nest to get its egg. This could have meant her death if the demon had been there.  
  
But the slayer knew that she had to control those feelings now and so she told Dawn that they had to go back to the car and try to find the vampire as fast as possible.   
  
Maybe Giles could help them. She would ask him, even though she knew that he would be angry at first.   
  
She turned and left.  
  
Dawn followed her quietly.  
  
**********  
  
Giles stopped the car, put the key in his pocket and got out.   
  
While doing this he constantly watched the vampire's reaction, but there was none.   
  
He still sat there, unmoving.  
  
Only the deep blue eyes followed every movement the watcher made.  
  
When he reached the other side of the car, Giles slowly opened the door. He did everything very slowly, trying not to scare the vampire even more than he already was.  
  
First he wanted to get Spike somehow out of the car, but then he hesitated. During the short time they had been together he had found out that the vampire was afraid of being touched. Probably he had been hurt too much while he had been in hell.  
  
Gently he held out his right hand.   
  
"Come on, you know I won't hurt you. I just want to get you inside."  
  
Then he waited patiently for Spike to react.  
  
**********  
  
The vampire carefully watched Giles walking over to the right side of the car.  
  
Buffy's watcher opened the door and stood still for a moment.   
  
Spike already wondered what he was up to as he held out his hand.   
  
"Come on, you know I won't hurt you. I just want to get you inside."  
  
Well, Spike wasn't that sure. No, he was terribly afraid. He still wasn't convinced that all this wasn't a trick.   
  
Maybe it was.   
  
What if the person who looked like Giles, behaved like Giles, was in truth one of those hell demons?  
  
He so wished he could be sure, but he couldn't. And there was nobody who would be able to help him, to tell him what to do.  
  
There was no way of being sure but he had no choice but taking the hand that was offered to him.  
  
He did it carefully, as if the touch could burn him.   
  
But of course it didn't and so he was helped out of the car.  
  
When he was standing on his feet Giles' other arm immediately supported him and slowly they went into the apartment.  
  
In there he was helped to sit down on the sofa.  
  
"I'll be right back." Spike heard the voice and understood the words, but he just couldn't bring himself to answer. It had been too long since he had used his voice and he didn't know whether he could use it or not.   
  
He saw that the other man had walked out of the room.  
  
Now that he was alone he felt fear taking control over him again.  
  
To distract himself the vampire looked around in Giles' living room. It was just as it had been before he had died.   
  
Spike sighed a little.   
  
Everything was as if nothing had happened and he so wished this could be true. He wished nothing of all that had happened.  
  
It didn't take long for Giles to come back with some bandages, pajamas and a bowl of water with a cloth in it.   
  
**********  
  
Carefully the watcher washed off the dirt and blood from Spike's skin, and then he bandaged the wounds and tried to set the broken bones.  
  
Giles could see how much it hurt and gently spoke to the vampire all the time. He didn't want him to bolt because he was afraid of the pain and he really got a reaction.  
  
First the other's body had been shaking but then he had calmed down and obviously tried to concentrate on Giles' words.  
  
"It's done," he finally said and gently helped Spike to put on the pajamas.  
  
"You... you can sleep in my bed. Come, I'll help you to the bedroom." For a long moment the other looked at him and the doubt and uncertainty nearly broke the watcher's heart.  
  
"Come on now, you'll feel better tomorrow."  
  
Finally Spike nodded and let Giles help him to stand up.  
  
**********  
  
It felt good to lie in a soft and warm bed again after such a long time.  
  
Spike sighed with contentment for the first time in hundreds of years. Finally he could relax a little and slowly his eyes closed.  
  
He felt Giles' gentle hand on his shoulder. He felt better but still he didn't feel safe enough to fall asleep, even though he was deadly tired.  
  
"It's alright," The other man's voice sounded soothing and it felt so good to hear it. "I'll stay with you. There's nothing to be afraid of. Just try to get some sleep."  
  
The vampire couldn't fight it anymore and finally he drifted of.  
  
When he was nearly asleep he heard something loud and he was sure that all this had been only a vision, created to torture him.  
  
He panicked, tried to get out of the bed but felt strong hands preventing it. This scared him even more and he desperately tried to break free.  
  
But there was no use, he was too weak from blood loss, pain and shock. The wounds began to hurt again, so he finally stopped struggling, laid his head down on the pillow and wept hopelessly.  
  
**********  
  
Giles smiled as he saw the vampire relax against the pillow but the fact that he was still breathing told him that he was not asleep yet.  
  
After a few gentle words, Spike finally drifted off.   
  
Slowly the watcher stood up from the bed and sat down on a chair next to it. He had promised not to leave and he would keep it.  
  
Now that he had time to think, he wondered what had happened to Spike. While the vampire had still been awake he had concentrated only on him but now he tried to figure out how it had been possible that he had come back.   
  
A spell, it must have been a spell.   
  
But who had done it?  
  
Suddenly the doorbell rang.   
  
Before Giles could react Spike panicked and tried to get out of the bed. Usually it would have been impossible for him to hold the vampire down but in this weak state there was no big fight.  
  
After a few seconds the other gave up and broke down sobbing.   
  
"Hush, it's alright. No one will hurt you here. I won't allow it. It was only the doorbell; even over-the-hill shopkeepers get visitors now and then. You don't have to worry."  
  
It was hard to see how this usually so strong vampire was so weak. He had never thought that Spike's fate could affect him so much.  
  
Slowly the sobbing stopped and the other calmed down.   
  
Blue eyes finally focused on Giles again.  
  
The watcher smiled again. "That's good. There's nothing to be afraid of."  
  
Once more the doorbell rang.  
  
Spike jumped a little but he didn't panic again. 'That's a start', Giles thought.  
  
"Just a minute!" he called out loudly and then he looked down at the vampire once more. "I'll be right back. Nobody will come in here as long as I'm away. You are safe. Do you understand?"  
  
After a moment he was given a small nod.  
  
"Good, then you'll try to get some more sleep until I'm back."  
  
Another nod.  
  
**********  
  
As fast as possible Buffy and Dawn had come to Giles' apartment.   
  
"Do you think it's very clever to tell Giles everything?" Dawn asked. She was nervous and worried about Spike.  
  
"Do you have a better idea?"   
  
No answer.  
  
Buffy rang the doorbell.  
  
The light in the living room was burning but there was no reaction.  
  
They waited for nearly five minutes until the slayer tried again.   
  
This time they got an answer. "Just a minute!" Giles called from inside.  
  
"Ok, he's probably using the bathroom. He could hurry up a little." Buffy was muttering to herself and Dawn could see that her older sister was nervous as well.   
  
Finally the door opened and Giles looked at the two girls.   
  
**********  
  
Buffy and Dawn.  
  
That was not really what he had needed right now.  
  
Of course they would eventually find out but Giles wanted to know how Spike had been able to come back first.  
  
"What... what is it, you two? It's pretty late."  
  
"Yeah, it is. Can we talk to you?" his slayer asked.  
  
"I just... wanted to go to bed." It wasn't easy for him to lie to her. And he was sure that she could see that something was wrong.  
  
"It's important."  
  
"Well... ok."  
  
He stepped back so the two sisters and allowed the two sisters to come in.  
  
The three of them sat down in the living room and Giles waited for Buffy to explain.  
  
"You do remember what happened when our mum died, right?"  
  
"I remember everything."  
  
After a small pause Buffy continued. "You still know what Dawn did, don't you?"  
  
With that Giles finally understood.   
  
How could he have been so blind?  
  
The spell!  
  
Dawn had tried to bring her mother back and now she had brought Spike back.  
  
The vampire had been like a big brother to her, she had missed him terribly. And the thought that he might be in hell hadn't left her all the time.  
  
God, he should have known!   
  
He should have figured out!   
  
Then Buffy spoke again. "Giles? Are you still with us?"  
  
The watcher didn't answer her. He only looked at Dawn. "You have succeeded." That was all he said.  
  
**********  
  
The teenager looked at the older man with wide eyes. "What... what do you mean?"  
  
"I mean that your spell worked."  
  
Dawn was too shocked to talk and so Buffy asked the question which was most important now. "How do you know about the spell?"  
  
"I found him."  
  
"You know where he is?" Dawn whispered.  
  
"He's here."  
  
TBC 


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: Someone sent me an E-mail and asked whether this is going to be a   
  
Buffy/Spike romance. No, it's only friendship, even though Spike loves her.   
  
Sorry, I usually like this pairing, but it would make the Prequel "I'm   
  
sorry" sound stupid. I hope you don't mind (-;  
  
Chapter 4  
  
Giles left the room and Spike was alone.  
  
The man had promised him that he would be back soon but he somehow couldn't   
  
believe it.  
  
He so wanted everything to be as it was, usually he wouldn't have minded to   
  
be alone - but now...  
  
Fortunately the watcher had left the light on but still Spike flinched at   
  
every noise.  
  
After a few moments he managed to calm down and he tried to listen to what   
  
was happening outside. Vampires have a very good hearing and so it was no   
  
problem for him to find out who was there with Giles.  
  
Buffy and Dawn!  
  
Tears suddenly filled his eyes. He hadn't even dared to hope that he would   
  
be in Sunnydale - in the real world - ever again, not to mention seeing the   
  
two Summers girls once more.  
  
They were talking but Spike didn't listen anymore, he couldn't.  
  
Desperately he tried to fight back the tears which threatened to leave the   
  
corners of his eyes now.  
  
His beloved Buffy and his nibblet.  
  
How he had missed them!  
  
After a few moments which seemed like an eternity to the vampire he could   
  
hear the three of them approaching his room.  
  
**********  
  
"He's here?" Dawn whispered.  
  
After a moment Giles nodded. "He's in my bedroom, hopefully asleep."  
  
"Is he... is he normal?" Buffy asked after a moment of silence, her voice   
  
thick with emotions.  
  
"I think so."  
  
"What do you mean? Is he alright or not?"  
  
"Well, he has most certainly been in hell. He's confused and afraid, he...   
  
he doesn't talk. But I think he can be alright if we help him."  
  
"That's why we brought him back!"  
  
"You brought him back, Dawnie." Buffy corrected gently. "But you're right.   
  
We have to help him."  
  
"Can we see him?" the slayer's younger sister asked. Giles and Buffy could   
  
easily hear the fear in her voice.  
  
"I... I think it's better if we let him rest a while. He was very tired,"   
  
the watcher tried to get out of the situation.  
  
"But I won't wake him!" Dawn insisted. "Please I just want to see him! To   
  
see that he's really back." Her voice had grown very low saying that last   
  
sentence.  
  
"Alright, but he's not like he was before. He isn't like Angel was, he's not   
  
behaving like a wild animal, but he's different. Of course he's confused and   
  
hurt but he seems to remember me, he understands me when I'm talking to him   
  
and he's not aggressive at all - only scared. As if he was afraid that all   
  
this isn't real, I don't think he believes yet that all the torture he's been through  
  
in hell is really over." The English man sighed. He was very worried about  
  
the vampire - and about Dawn and Buffy. It was obvious how much  
  
Spike meant to them, he could only hope that he would be alright.  
  
"But then we must help him!"  
  
"We will, Dawnie," Buffy said gently and laid an arm around her sister's   
  
shoulder. "Can we see him now?"  
  
Giles nodded and led the two girls to his bedroom.  
  
The watcher only hoped that Dawn wouldn't suffer too much seeing her friend   
  
like that.  
  
**********  
  
The door opened and Spike tensed a little, but when he saw Giles enter the   
  
room he relaxed again.  
  
He saw that the man who had brought him here wanted to say something but a   
  
young girl passed him and hurried towards the bed. When she was there she   
  
hesitated for a moment and then she embraced him gently and very carefully.  
  
Dawn!  
  
He was absolutely calm when she wrapped her arms around him, even though it   
  
hurt like hell.  
  
For the first time fear didn't take control over him. Somehow he could feel,   
  
and there was no doubt, that this was really her. It was Dawn, he was   
  
completely sure.  
  
Anyway, he needed a few seconds to get back his composure, and then he felt   
  
that the teenager was crying on his shoulder. Her grip tightened a little but  
  
he didn't wince despite the pain. He didn't want to startle her. And after  
  
a few moments he hesitantly embraced her and rested his own head on   
  
her hair.  
  
**********  
  
Giles wanted to hold Dawn back but she was too fast.  
  
When she reached the bed she stopped anyway and then embraced the vampire   
  
gently.  
  
First Spike's eyes widened a little, more out of pain than fear, but then   
  
his expression went soft and when he realized that the girl was crying on   
  
his shoulder he weakly hugged her back.  
  
Giles smiled to himself.  
  
This was the first reaction the vampire had given to anyone since he was   
  
back.  
  
Well, at least it was a start.  
  
It was obvious that he still cared for Dawn deeply.  
  
Before all this had happened the two of them had been very close.  
  
Giles remembered when Spike had gotten that chip. Nobody had trusted him   
  
first.  
  
Nobody but Dawn.  
  
When she had first met him she had talked to him as if he had been an   
  
ordinary human, as if nothing was wrong with him.  
  
Still the watcher could remember Spike's face and it had been rather   
  
entertaining.  
  
A young girl talking to him as if he was her best friend.  
  
This really wasn't something he had been used to.  
  
Buffy's sister had visited him in his crypt constantly; she had even   
  
convinced Spike in going to the cinema with her. The vampire had been so   
  
embarrassed when Xander and Giles had seen them leaving the theatre, but he   
  
had gone there with her again. First he had acted as if she didn't mean   
  
anything to him but then he had finally given up pretending. He adored her,   
  
as if she was his own sister, and he had let everyone see it. In time, the   
  
Scoobies had trusted him enough so that Dawn was allowed to go out with him.   
  
He had been like a big brother to the girl and the watcher had to admit that   
  
even he had believed that he would have never let anyone harm her. She had   
  
been as safe with him as she had been with Buffy.  
  
Xander had used that to tease him more than once but in this the vampire   
  
hadn't listened. Usually the young man would have gotten a sharp answer but   
  
not when he had mocked him about his relationship with Dawn.  
  
And then he had fallen in love with Buffy.  
  
Sometimes even Giles had thought that she had gone too far with her coldness   
  
towards him.  
  
She had even played with his feelings by using him for sex after she had   
  
come back from heaven. It had been a hard time for her but still she hadn't   
  
had the right to hurt him like that.  
  
Of course all had been entirely different after he had saved her life and   
  
given his own. She had regretted all this so much, but until this day they   
  
had thought that it was too late for an apology.  
  
Reluctantly Dawn parted from Spike and wiped her eyes.  
  
With that Buffy also walked towards the bed, and, unlike her sister, she did   
  
it very slowly. But the effect was the same, when she reached him, she   
  
gently wrapped her arms around his shoulders.  
  
Giles had already feared that she would start to ignore him again, that she   
  
wouldn't be able to deal with his feelings towards her and the guilt she had   
  
been feeling ever since he had died for her, but to his great relief she   
  
acted like she should.  
  
"It's good to have you back," he heard her whisper to him and smiled.  
  
Again Spike returned the embrace and now he saw tears on his face as well.  
  
He finally let his emotions out.  
  
Maybe everything would be alright after all.  
  
**********  
  
After only a few seconds Dawn broke the embrace and wiped her eyes, a tiny   
  
smile on her lips.  
  
Spike was so busy trying to hold back his own tears that he didn't even   
  
realize that Buffy was approaching him as well.  
  
She suddenly stood next to his bed, her lips trembling.  
  
He looked up at her - the woman he loved.  
  
God - how many times he had dreamed about seeing her again - just once more!  
  
And now she was there.  
  
Looking down at him as if he had never left her.  
  
But now she was leaning down and embracing him, just like Dawn had done   
  
before and he held her tight. He found himself unable to hold his feelings   
  
back anymore.  
  
Tears were finally running down his face.  
  
Not many, but they were there. He hadn't cried in centuries and he knew that   
  
it was a beginning.  
  
"Is... is this a... dream?" He whispered, his voice raw and hard to   
  
understand.  
  
He hadn't even been sure if he was still able to speak.  
  
Too long he had been silent, much too long.  
  
Buffy drew back and looked at him, a little confused.  
  
**********  
  
When she was standing there before the bed, looking down at the vampire, she   
  
couldn't refuse to embrace him.  
  
To her surprise he also wrapped his arms around her weakly. There was   
  
nothing of his old strength left, but he remembered her and at this moment   
  
that was the only thing that really mattered.  
  
"Is... is this a... dream?" He asked her.  
  
She left his arms and stared at him in surprise.  
  
"A dream? No, Spike, no! You are not dreaming! You are at home, in   
  
Sunnydale! We're really here with you." She took his hand and held it   
  
gently.  
  
He seemed confused and lost to her and she could understand that all that   
  
was very hard for him.  
  
"Spike," she said in a soft and low voice. "Why don't you try to get some   
  
sleep? I'll stay here with you, I promise."  
  
His clear blue eyes were watching her as if he wanted to find out whether   
  
she was lying to him, and then he slowly nodded and closed them.  
  
When he stopped breathing she knew that he had fallen asleep and turned back   
  
to Dawn and Giles.  
  
**********  
  
The former librarian had watched the whole scene and he had been more than   
  
relieved to hear Spike's voice.  
  
When he finally fell asleep Buffy turned her head, but she didn't let go of   
  
his hand. "Does anyone else know already?" She whispered carefully so as to   
  
not wake the slumbering vampire.  
  
Giles shook his head. "No, I didn't have the time to tell anyone yet. I had   
  
to take care of him. He was in a very bad state when I found him."  
  
"Isn't he still?" Dawn whispered.  
  
"Yes... I guess he is. But he was even worse when I first found him." Giles   
  
could see the girl's distress and immediately tried to comfort her. "He'll   
  
be fine, Dawn. You helped him very much, if it hadn't been for you he would   
  
still be in hell." Usually he would have scolded the teenager for putting   
  
herself in such a danger, he still didn't know how she had managed to get   
  
the Ghora's egg, but he knew that she felt bad enough already. There really   
  
was no need to be mad at her. Of course she was happy that her friend was   
  
alive and here with them but seeing him like that had been a shock for her.  
  
"Dawn?" He asked gently.  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Why don't you come with me? Buffy's right, we have to tell the others."  
  
She nodded and then turned to her older sister. "Will you stay with him?  
  
"Sure. I promised him," the slayer answered simply.  
  
TBC 


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: Please review!  
  
Chapter 5 - Help  
  
Xander had been sitting in his apartment all day, trying and failing to   
  
forget about Anya. Even though it was very late he couldn't sleep.  
  
Now he really wished that he hadn't run away on their wedding day but now it   
  
was too late. She was gone, disappointed and angry. Of course he could have   
  
gone to her, she was probably at the Bronze, but he still felt like the   
  
coward who left her on the day that was supposed to be the happiest day in   
  
her life.  
  
"I'm such an idiot!" He whispered to himself.  
  
There was a demon for everything, why couldn't there be one to turn back the   
  
time and make stupid mistakes undone? But he knew there was no way, he had   
  
done something wrong and he had to live with it.  
  
Maybe one day he would be able to convince Anya that he truly loved her,   
  
with all his heart. But until the time had come he would just sit there and   
  
wish that all this hadn't happened.  
  
The last year had been horrible enough, one catastrophe after another. First   
  
Joyce had died, which had been a terrible shock to everybody, then Buffy had   
  
died, then they had brought her back, unfortunately pulling her out of   
  
heaven, then she had had problems in dealing, then Spike had died to safe   
  
her life, which had made her feel even worse, Dawn had also suffered and   
  
still wasn't over it yet, and to make it all perfect two weeks ago he had   
  
had to make Anya unhappy as well.  
  
Great!  
  
Sometimes he wished everything would be as it was when they had still   
  
attended High School.  
  
This had been such a great time!  
  
And now everybody had worse problems than getting an F in history or   
  
fighting some vampires or even stopping an apocalypse.  
  
His musing was disturbed by the telephone. He took he receiver and said,   
  
"Yeah, Xander Harris."  
  
"Xander, it's Giles. I need to tell you something."  
  
"What is it? Forces of evil threatening to destroy the whole world?" He   
  
nearly hoped that it was something like that. What he really needed now was   
  
a distraction and he wouldn't get it by sitting in his favorite armchair,   
  
thinking of the most horrible year in his whole life.  
  
"No, not really. It's more about something Dawn has done."  
  
"Oh, come on, what can she do which is so terrible?"  
  
"Well, it's not all bad. Not... not really. You have done it once, too. She   
  
had brought someone back from the dead."  
  
Without thinking Xander knew who it was. "Spike!?"  
  
"Yes, he's with us again."  
  
Xander and Spike had never been friends but somehow he was glad that the   
  
vampire wasn't in hell anymore. After all he had done he didn't deserve it.  
  
Wait, if he had been in hell, didn't that mean that he was as Angel had been   
  
after he had come back?  
  
"Was he in hell? Like Angel?"  
  
"Yes, I fear so. But he doesn't behave like Angel did, not like any wild   
  
animal. But he's confused and afraid. They have hurt him terribly and they   
  
have starved him. If you come over tomorrow would you please bring some   
  
blood with you?"  
  
"Sure, how much?"  
  
"As much as possible. He really needs it."  
  
Xander nodded, even though Giles couldn't see it. "Don't worry, I will get   
  
you something very early. I will call sick at work."  
  
"Ok, thank you. And... uh... do you know where Anya is? She should know,   
  
too."  
  
He hesitated a moment, then nodded again. Maybe this would be a chance to   
  
talk to her. "Yeah, don't worry, I'll tell her."  
  
"Thank you. See you tomorrow."  
  
"Yep, bye."  
  
With that Xander stood up and made his way to the Bronze.  
  
**********  
  
Anya sat on the bar, watching the band, listing to the depressing music and   
  
nipping on her drink.  
  
Of course she had thought about going back into the vengeance business, but   
  
she didn't have the heart to do so. Probably she was too much a human   
  
already.  
  
All she could think of was Xander.  
  
Why had he done this to her?  
  
Was it her fault?  
  
What had she done wrong?  
  
She wanted to ask him all this but she didn't dare.  
  
"Coward", she thought for herself. "I'm such a coward."  
  
Suddenly he came in, looked around, found her and came towards her.  
  
She wondered what he wanted.  
  
When he stood before her he smiled a shy smile, not like him at all. She   
  
found that cute but dismissed the thought immediately. This was the man who   
  
had hurt her terribly, he had left her on her wedding day, and because of   
  
him she suffered.  
  
Why should she now smile to him?  
  
There was no good reason.  
  
Except that she loved him more than anything in this world.  
  
But right now this wasn't enough.  
  
"What do you want?" She asked coldly. 'He may have given me the greatest sex   
  
of all my life but this doesn't give him the right to do what he has done!'   
  
She decided silently.  
  
"Well, Giles wanted me to tell you that Spike is alive."  
  
She looked at him as if he had completely lost his mind now. If this was   
  
some way to get to talk to her it was a lame trick and even she knew that it   
  
was more than insipid. "Have you gone insane? That's nothing to joke about!"  
  
"No, I know that. But if it's a joke you must tell Giles that it's a bad   
  
one. He really called me about half an hour ago. He said Dawn has brought   
  
him back."  
  
"Like she did with her mother?"  
  
Xander just nodded.  
  
"And what can we do now?"  
  
"Giles asked me to bring him some blood in the morning. Maybe you want to   
  
come with me?"  
  
Anya thought for a moment. Actually she had planned to stay as far away from   
  
him as possible. But this seemed to be impossible.  
  
She sighed sadly and then finally she asked the question she had wanted to   
  
ask him all the time, but until now she hadn't had the strength to do so.   
  
"Xander, do you still love me?"  
  
**********  
  
"Xander, do you still love me?"  
  
Those few words had taken him completely by surprise, but he didn't need a   
  
second to think about the answer. "More than words can say."  
  
He saw the tears in her eyes. "Why didn't you come then?"  
  
"I don't know." He sighed; he knew if he wouldn't tell her the truth now he   
  
would he would lose her forever. "I guess I was just afraid."  
  
"Afraid of being my husband?" There was so much disappointment in her voice   
  
that t nearly broke his heart to hear it.  
  
"No, never. Being married at all seemed kinda scary suddenly. Well, I think   
  
I was just stupid. If I could change it I would be happy to do so, but I   
  
can't. All I can do is ask for your forgiveness." She raised an eyebrow.   
  
"And look at you with large, sad puppy-eyes which could melt the hardest   
  
stone," he added quickly.  
  
**********  
  
Anya couldn't help but laugh at this.  
  
Yes, this was her Xander. Couldn't stay serious for five minutes.  
  
Maybe it was stupid but she believed him.  
  
"Did you plan anything for tonight?"  
  
"No," she answered a little surprised.  
  
"What do you think about cinema then? I'll pay the tickets and you the   
  
popcorn."  
  
Again he showed his large, sad puppy-eyes. "Sorry, I don't have enough money   
  
for both and I still have to buy Spike's blood. Giles said he would need   
  
much."  
  
"Ok, cinema sounds good."  
  
She didn't care about paying the popcorn, she was just glad that she had him   
  
back. Now she realized that he meant much more to her than all the money on   
  
the world.  
  
**********  
  
"What about Willow and Tara?" Dawn asked after Giles had called Xander.  
  
The former librarian shook his head and smiled. "Don't worry, I will call   
  
them as well. I first have to look for the number of Willow's parents."  
  
After that he took the receiver and dialed the number.  
  
**********  
  
Willow and Tara were lying in a not so large bed. "I'm so sorry, honey," the   
  
red haired Wicca said again.  
  
Her girlfriend rolled her eyes. "You have nothing to be sorry about, Will.   
  
It's not your fault that your mother is a little..."  
  
"Unnerving? She didn't even want us to sleep in the same bed! And no kissing   
  
outside the house! That's so stupid! I think she's still ashamed that I'm   
  
lesbian."  
  
Tara sighed. "Again, it's not your fault. You don't have to apologize. I'm   
  
just sorry that your mom can't accept it."  
  
"Me too."  
  
Suddenly the telephone rang.  
  
Willow rolled her eyes. "I'll go."  
  
She went out of the room and took the receiver. "Hello?" While she was   
  
talking she walked back into the room she shared with Tara.  
  
"Willow, something happened tonight."  
  
"What is it, Giles?" She asked and sat down on the bed again, very close to   
  
her girlfriend.  
  
"Dawn brought Spike back."  
  
"What?" Willow nearly yelled and jumped a little.  
  
"Yes, he's back. But he's in a bad state, I think we can be sure that he has   
  
been in hell."  
  
"Oh my god! Are you in your apartment?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Ok, Tara and I will be there as fast as we can."  
  
She didn't give him time to reply. Actually she was even glad that they   
  
could brake up the visit sooner.  
  
"What happened?" Tara asked.  
  
"It's Spike, he's back."  
  
"What? How?"  
  
"Dawn, she did a spell."  
  
"Oh god!"  
  
"I promised Giles that we would be there soon." She smiled brightly. "That's   
  
something good, isn't it? I mean, we don't have to stay here any longer."  
  
Tara couldn't help but smile back at her. "Yeah, I guess that's good."  
  
**********  
  
"They'll be here soon."  
  
"I thought it would be enough if everyone came in the morning?" Dawn seemed   
  
a little curious.  
  
"Yes, but Willow didn't wait for me to tell her. I think she was glad to get   
  
away from her mother."  
  
"Is she that bad?"  
  
"Well, it's a nice lady, but she can be a little unnerving at times. And she   
  
doesn't accept Willow's relationship with Tara."  
  
"Oh."  
  
"Well, you should get some sleep, Dawn. Is it alright for you to take the   
  
sofa? Willow and Tara will need a little more space and so I thought that   
  
they can have the guest room"  
  
When she nodded he started to prepare the sofa for her, knowing that she   
  
wouldn't get too much sleep after a night like that.  
  
**********  
  
Dawn had just fallen asleep when the doorbell woke her again.  
  
She sat up tiredly and Giles, who had, without wanting it, fallen asleep in   
  
the armchair, stood up and walked towards the door.  
  
"Try to go back to sleep. That must be Willow and Tara."  
  
Dawn didn't fall asleep once more, though, but watched the two witches enter   
  
the apartment.  
  
"How is he?" Tara asked worriedly.  
  
"He's asleep, Buffy is with him. We can't do anything tonight, you two   
  
should go to the guest room and get some sleep. Dawn and I will stay in the   
  
living room."  
  
"Ok, thanks," Willow muttered and the two of them went to the guest room.  
  
**********  
  
"Good morning!" Giles said as Dawn opened her eyes.  
  
"Morning," she murmured.  
  
"Do you want some breakfast?"  
  
"Sure." She sat up and yawned.  
  
"You didn't sleep well, did you?"  
  
"No, I dreamed of him." She looked to the ground while she was sleeping. "I   
  
dreamed of how he has been tortured in hell. I could hardly stand it."  
  
Giles sighed, took the egg aside and went over to the sofa. Gently he laid   
  
an arm around her.  
  
"I saw how they chained him up and beat him, burned him, didn't give him   
  
blood and whipped him. I heard him scream, Giles - and... and I couldn't   
  
help him."  
  
She sobbed. "I tried to get to him, but I couldn't move, I had to watch and   
  
listen to his screams."  
  
"I know it's hard, but you brought him back, Dawn," Giles tried to comfort   
  
the distressed girl. "He will be fine."  
  
Again the doorbell rang and the watcher had to smile when he saw that Dawn   
  
hastily wiped her tears away. She didn't want anyone to see her cry.  
  
He stood up and opened the door.  
  
Xander and Anya were standing before him. The watcher was slightly surprised   
  
when he saw those two together, but the woman didn't give him much time to   
  
be surprised. "Hey, is he really here or is this just some kind of sick   
  
joke? You know you would be perverse then."  
  
Giles rolled his eyes; this was just like Anya. As always, she was very...   
  
direct.  
  
Xander just smiled at him a little embarrassed.  
  
"Don't worry, Anya, it's no sick joke. He's here. Do you have the blood?"  
  
"Sure we do." Xander smiled and held up the bag. "We have more in the car,   
  
it's in the car but it was too much to carry it all. Boy, the butcher was   
  
surprised when we bought so much blood."  
  
"Well, I guess he was. Come in, you two."  
  
**********  
  
Ten minutes later they sat together in the living room and ate a little   
  
breakfast.  
  
Then Buffy came out of the bedroom.  
  
"How is he?" Giles asked immediately. "Is he awake?"  
  
"Yes, he is." She looked tired, which most likely meant that she hadn't   
  
slept all night. "Did anyone bring some blood?"  
  
"Yeah, Anya and I did."  
  
"That's good. I think he's very thirsty."  
  
Giles filled some of the blood into a cup and handed it over to Buffy, it   
  
was cold but the watcher could imagine that the vampire wanted it as fast as   
  
possible. "Thanks," the slayer said with a small smile. "Could you warm up   
  
some more, please? I don't want him to wait until this here is warm enough.   
  
You know he likes it better when it's warm and I don't think this is   
  
enough."  
  
"Of course, just go to him and give him that to drink. Someone will bring   
  
you the blood as soon as it is warm."  
  
"Thanks," she said in a small voice and walked back into the room where   
  
Spike was waiting.  
  
**********  
  
He blinked slowly, to his own surprise he had slept very well. He had   
  
thought that the pain and the memory wouldn't let him rest, but he had been   
  
wrong.  
  
Because of the exhaustion and, which was even more important, the hand that   
  
had been holding his all night he had been able to sleep dreamless and   
  
peaceful.  
  
But now that he was awake again the memories were coming back, memories of   
  
torture and pain.  
  
And he needed the blood so badly!  
  
He could easily tell that he must have looked like a skeleton. When he   
  
looked at his hand he could see every bone through his pale skin.  
  
"Hey, sleepy-head." He heard a gentle voice next to him. The hand that was   
  
holding his squeezed it a little.  
  
It was hard for him but he turned his head to see the face of his beloved   
  
Buffy.  
  
As always she looked beautiful, a little tired maybe, but still beautiful.  
  
She smiled down at him and carefully stroked his hair. "How are you   
  
feeling?"  
  
He tried to smile reassuringly but failed. It was still impossible for him   
  
to smile, too much had happened.  
  
And for some reason it was as hard for him to talk, as it had been the day   
  
before. Again he couldn't bring himself to say a word, even though he so   
  
wanted to tell her how glad he was that she was there, how good it had felt   
  
to sleep undisturbed for hours and that the thirst was nearly killing him.  
  
But his throat was so dry that it was impossible to get a word out of it.  
  
"Spike, can I do anything for you? Do you need something?"  
  
He sighed and touched his throat. With all the strength he had left he   
  
formed one word. "Blood." Then he looked up at her with pleading eyes.  
  
"Of course, I should have thought of that myself! Just a minute, I'll be   
  
right back. I'm sure the others will have bought some of the stuff by now."  
  
With that she let go off his hand and quickly left the room.  
  
Immediately all the reassurance he had had was gone and he felt terrible,   
  
like a child that was lost in the woods. That made him feel even worse, he   
  
remembered a time when he had been strong, emotionally and physically, but   
  
this time was gone, and he doubted that he would ever be strong again.  
  
Only two minutes or so after Buffy had left the door opened again and she   
  
came in once more.  
  
In her hand she carried a cup, which he had seen before. There were a few   
  
words written on it: KISS THE LIBRARIAN.  
  
Yes, this was Giles' cup; he had drunk from it before, when he had first got   
  
the chip. This seemed like an eternity ago now.  
  
The slayer sat down on the edge of the bed and carefully lifted his head.   
  
Again he felt so utterly helpless, but he let her help him drink. It was   
  
cold, but he didn't care at the moment. But it wasn't much. He hadn't had   
  
anything for years, how could a cup of blood be possibly enough then?  
  
"Don't worry," Buffy said as if she had read his mind. "Giles wanted to warm   
  
some more up before you drink it. We know you don't like it cold."  
  
"Thanks," he whispered hoarsely. Now that he had drunk something it was a   
  
little easier to form words but still it wasn't as easy as it should be.  
  
"That's ok. We'll have you back on your feet very soon. You'll see."  
  
He wasn't as optimistic as she was but he was very grateful nonetheless.  
  
In this moment Dawn entered the room with another cup of blood in her hand.  
  
"Good morning," she said with a small smile on her lips and he couldn't help   
  
but smile back - his first smile for such a long time (even though it had   
  
been a very, very small one) - but Dawn was like a younger sister to him and   
  
it was so good to see her again.  
  
The girl handed the cup over to her older sister and then told Spike, "Be   
  
careful drinking it. I think it's a little hot. Giles says it's not but I   
  
don't believe it."  
  
Again Buffy lifted his head and let him drink. Dawn had been right, it was a   
  
little too hot, but not that bad.  
  
"Giles wants me to bring him the other cup so he can warm up some more," the   
  
teenager said.  
  
"You can have both," Buffy replied and handed the empty cups to her sister   
  
who left with them.  
  
"She's worried about you," the slayer said. "She loves you like a brother,   
  
do you even know that?"  
  
He looked at the blankets for a moment. "Love her, too."  
  
Buffy couldn't hide a smile. "I know you do, and Dawn also knows." She took   
  
his hand again. "Are you feeling a little better?"  
  
He only nodded and it wasn't even a lie. He really did feel better but he   
  
knew that it would take him a long time and much more strength to lead a   
  
normal life again.  
  
TBC 


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: Sorry that it took me so long! I hope you're still interested!   
  
Please review, the next chapter is nearly finished already and now I finally have holidays, so I can write much.   
  
jadeybeta: I think I mentioned that in this story Tara doesn't die and this takes part before Season 7 and so Anya didn't die either. I don't really like it that they died (-;  
  
Enjoy!!!!!  
  
Chapter 6 - Back to life  
  
Nearly two weeks later Dawn entered the bedroom smiling. During the last few days she always visited Spike right after school.  
  
"Hey, Big Bad. You look much better!"   
  
He really was, even though he still didn't sleep much because of the nightmares, every night Giles had to come to his room when he woke up screaming, and when he was alone for too long he became restless and scared. He hated this feeling but he couldn't help it.   
  
And the injuries weren't fully healed yet as well.  
  
"Thanks. How was school?"   
  
"Well, can we change the subject?"  
  
"Didn't you have that maths test today?" He caughed a little, his voice still had to recover fully.  
  
Dawn rolled her eyes. "Yes," she said quietly.   
  
A small smile came to his lips. "Didn't go too well?"  
  
"No, not really. Can we talk about something else now? Or maybe watch some TV?"  
  
"Ok, turn the telly on."  
  
"What do you want to watch?"  
  
Now it was his turn to roll his eyes. "As if I knew what's on."  
  
They didn't get the chance to watch anything, though. Buffy and Giles entered the room and interrupted them.  
  
"Hey, you two."  
  
"Hi, don't you dare to ask me about the maths test."   
  
"That bad?"   
  
"Yep."  
  
The slayer shook her head. "We'll talk about it when you get it back."  
  
"Ok." She stood up and walked towards the door. "I have to use the bathroom."  
  
When she was gone Buffy sat down on a chair next to Spike's bed. "How are you?"  
  
"Better." He paused a moment. He had to ask the question, all the time he hadn't been able to forget it and he really needed to know the answer. "Buffy? May I ask you something?"  
  
"Sure."  
  
"Do you know how I came back?"  
  
She smiled a little. "Yes, it was a spell."  
  
"And who..."  
  
"Dawn."  
  
Spike was stunned.   
  
His Nibblet had done this?   
  
Probably she had used the same spell she had also used when she had tried to bring her mother back.   
  
But it was dangerous, very dangerous.  
  
He remembered very well how hard it had been to get the egg Ghora's, they both could have died. If he hadn't been there to protect her she would never have made it.  
  
How had she been able to do it now?  
  
Anyway, he didn't feel too good about it, she could have died easily down there and he didn't want that anything happened to her because of him.  
  
"She didn't tell us anything," Buffy continued. "When I came home she was on her way out of the house, she didn't expect me to come home that night, and when I walked into her room I found the things she needed for the spell. It was done already."  
  
"But how did she get the egg of the Ghora?"  
  
"It wasn't in its nest." She thought for a moment, then frowned. "How do you know that she needed the egg?"  
  
He sighed, he had forgotten that she hadn't known that it had been him who had helped Dawn to do the spell after Joyce had died.  
  
Well, now he had to tell her. "I was the one who helped her bringing your mother back."  
  
**********  
  
This was a shock for Buffy.  
  
He had helped her to bring her mother back?  
  
First she was even a little annoyed. How could he do such a foolish thing?  
  
After all he was much older than Dawn, he should have told her that what she had been trying was wrong, he should have brought her home and tell her what had happened.  
  
That was not the only thing the slayer wanted to know.  
  
Why had he done it?   
  
Did he have any reason to bring Joyce back?  
  
"Why?" She asked aloud now.  
  
He looked down at the blanket, feeling embarassed. "I... I missed Joyce. You know I didn't come along too well with you guys then and Joyce has always... been nice to me. She didn't treat me like a monster. I didn't belong to the demons anymore, but you didn't want me around either, Xander even sent me away when I wanted to bring some flowers on your mom's funeral day. And when I saw Dawn trying to find a spell to bring Joyce back I helped her. I brought her to the Doc and helped her to get the bloody egg."  
  
Buffy felt tears forming in her eyes now, the anger was gone immediatly. She hadn't thought that he had suffered so much. Back then she had even thought that he had no feelings at all. To her and her friends he had alsways been the vampire without a soul but with a chip.  
  
For everyone but Dawn and Joyce.   
  
Now she realized how terrible it had been for him to lose her mother. And they hadn't even allowed him to go to her funeral to say goodbye as well.   
  
**********  
  
It had been very hard for Spike to talk about that.  
  
He didn't like to talk to others about his feelings and he was more than a little embarassed.   
  
All he could do was waiting for Buffy to do something, he didn't even dare to look at her. Still he stared at the blanket.  
  
Suddenly he felt a gentle hand on his shoulder and when he finally looked up he saw that Buffy sat on the edge of the bed now, with tears in her beautiful eyes. "I'm sorry, Spike, I'm so sorry we treated you like that. It was not fair. I can't make it undone but I can promise you that it will be different from now on."  
  
He didn't know what to say and luckily he didn't have to say anything at all for Dawn came back.  
  
"What will be different?"  
  
"You will be better in math," Buffy said dryly, blinking her tears away so her younger sister wouldn't get the chance to see them.  
  
"Great, you're still talking about the damned test, right?"  
  
"Yes, but we will stop now."   
  
The girl just rolled her eyes.   
  
**********  
  
The next day Giles came into the bedroom. "Spike, I have to buy some food and blood. Dawn will come in about half an hour, I called her on her cell phone to be sure that she would come. Can I leave you alone that long?"  
  
The vampire sat up in his bed and smiled at the watcher, but it was obvious that it wasn't real. "Sure you can. I'll be fine."  
  
"Really?"  
  
"Yeah, I'll watch some TV."  
  
Giles nodded. A few days ago he had brought a TV into the room so Spike could distract himself a little when he needed it. "Ok, but if anything is wrong you can always call Anya or Dawn. She's not in school anymore but she has to walk here."  
  
"Why's that? No bus today?"  
  
"There was a bus, but she missed it. She just called to tell me. But I can't wait any longer, the butcher will close earlier today and I guess you're hungry."  
  
"Yeah, I am. Don't worry, you can go."  
  
Giles nodded, placed the telephone next to the bed and left.   
  
He hoped that Spike would really call someone if anything was wrong, of course they wouldn't be here immediatly but at least he could talk to someone, this would probably help him to calm down.  
  
**********  
  
After Giles had left Spike turned the TV on.   
  
Outside there was a thunderstorm and it was pretty loud. The rain, the thunder. With every noise and every flash he jumped.   
  
The rain was getting harder and for a moment he wondered wether Dawn had an umbrella with her.   
  
But he just wasn't able to concentrate on her now.   
  
He tried to focus on the movie but he didn't even know what it was about.  
  
For nearly half an hour he laid as still as possible, trying not to panic.  
  
He was more than relieved when the front door opened and he heared Dawn's voice. "Hi Spike! I'll be right there but first I need to borrow some dry clothes from Giles."  
  
Ok, she didn't have an umbrella.  
  
When she walked in Spike forgot what he had been through for a moment and laughed a little. Giles clothes were much to large for her and it looked terrible. Tweed didn't suit her well.  
  
But at least it was dry.  
  
"Hey, what's wrong, Mr? Don't you like my new outfit?" She joked.  
  
"Of course I do, Nibblet, you look just great."   
  
"Very funny." She pouted playfully and sat down next to him, then she pointed at the TV and asked, "What's on?"  
  
"I don't know. I just turned it on," he lied and jumped a little when he heared a loud thunder.  
  
"Are you alright?"  
  
"Yeah, sorry, I just..."  
  
"Hey, you don't need to apologize." Her voice grew more quiet when she continued. "After all you've been through it's understandable when you are afraid."  
  
Before he could say anything she cuddled against him, wrapped her arms around him and rested her head on his shoulder. "It's ok, I'm not that small anymore, you don't have to hide your feelings in front of me. Really."  
  
Spike didn't say anything, he was just glad about her comforting presence. She had matured so much since they had become friends.   
  
Again he had to think about the fact that it had been her who had brought him back to this world. Because of her, because she had risked her life, he didn't have to suffer in hell any longer.  
  
Again he jumped because of a thunder.   
  
"Shh," she whispered. "It's ok." Her eyes didn't leave the TV but her hand was stroking his back in comforting circles.  
  
"Dawn?"   
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Thanks."  
  
"That's ok, I'll always be here for you."  
  
"I mean not only for that, but I mean for bringing me back from hell, too."  
  
She looked at him in surprise. "You know?"  
  
"Yeah, Buffy told me yesterday. I just wanted to be alone with you before letting you know that I know." He looked at the young girl who still leaned against him. For a moment the old mischief was shining in his eyes. "You know I should scold you for going to the Ghora's nest."  
  
"It wasn't there!" She tried to defend herself.  
  
"And you knew that before I guess?"  
  
"Well, not really. But nothing happened. Can't we just leave it at that?"  
  
He nodded slowly. "Ok, we don't talk about the Ghora anymore, but I will make make it up to you, I promise."  
  
"You've done so much for me already. And now shut up, I wanna see the movie." With that she rested her head on his chest again.  
  
He really was silent, no more words were needed.  
  
**********  
  
Giles was just preparing his dinner when he heared the bedroom door open.  
  
He turned around and saw how Spike stiffly came out of the room. The vampire looked a lot better, maybe a little tired and his hair was still long, curly and brown, but he wasn't that thin anymore and even though he had obviously problems with walking he did much better than he had nearly three weeks ago.  
  
"Spike, do you really feel like walking around already?" The watcher asked nontheless.  
  
"Sure, I'm fine, Rupert. I just wanted to take a shower if that's alright with you."  
  
"Of course! Wait a minute, I will get you a towel." Giles was more than glad that Spike felt better and at least cared about something.   
  
And he had really smelled better already and it was good that he had realized himself that he needed a shower.  
  
The wounds on the skin were mostly healed but the bones which had been badly broken still gave him problems. But Giles decided that he was able to shower himself, it was wrong to do everything for him. He needed to get his old independence and confidence back and he would never be able to if he the watcher would help him with every little thing.  
  
So he gave him the towel, told him to be careful and left the bathroom.  
  
About 15 minutes later the vampire came out again, wearing new clothes Giles had bought for him.  
  
"Why don't you sit down?" He pointed at the table. "We could... have dinner together."  
  
Spike raised an eyebrow. "Alright, but isn't that a little disturbing for you?"  
  
"No, I think I got used to it. Sit down, I'll warm up your blood."  
  
"Thanks."  
  
**********  
  
He just wasn't able to stay in the bedroom any longer. Three weeks had been enough and he realized that he smelled a little bad already. It wasn't as bad as humans would smell after three weeks in bed without to shower or to bath - but he found that it was bad enough.  
  
Slowly he got up, first a wave of dizziness came over him. After a moment he straightened and took his first step.   
  
One of his legs had been badly broken and it still hurt to use it, his ribs and one of his shoulders weren't fully healed yet as well but he tried to ignore it and walked towards the door. Buffy and Dawn had been here all day but he knew that they had gone an hour ago and now he was alone with Giles.  
  
When he opened the door the watcher looked up at him and smiled a little. "Spike, do you really feel like walking around already?"  
  
The vampire could easily hear the worry in the man's voice and it somehow felt good. Before he had been in hell he had thougth that the scoobies didn't care about him, but during the last few weeks even Xander had shown him that he did, just like all the others. Quickly he assured him that he was alright and told him that he wanted to take a shower.  
  
"Of course! Wait a minute, I will get you a towel." Giles seemed happy about the fact that he was feeling better and he was back very fast.   
  
He handed a towel and a few clothes over to Spike. A black shirt and a black jeans. "I got those for you. If they don't fit you I can bring them back.  
  
"Thanks."  
  
"That's alright, now go. And be careful, you still look a little... unsteady."  
  
Spike smiled and nodded. "Don't worry, I will."  
  
The hot water felt good and for a moment he forgot about everything. He remained in the shower for longer than he had intended but then he finally got out, quickly put on the clothes and left the bathroom.  
  
Giles had just finished to prepare his dinner and looked at him now. "Why don't you sit down? We could have dinner together."  
  
Spike was a little surprised to hear that. He remembered the watcher's disgust when he had told him that he liked cookies in his blood, that seemed to be an eternety ago. "Alright," he said, "but isn't that a little disturbing for you?"  
  
"No, I think I got used to it. Sit down, I'll warm up your blood."  
  
"Thanks." Slowly he sat down on one of the chairs and watched how Giles filled the "Kiss the Librarian" cup with blood and placed it in the microwave.   
  
It was a little uncomfortable to sit on a chair again for the first time after all those years, but he was sure that he soon would get used to it once more.  
  
When the blood was finished Giles sat down in front of Spike, handed him the cup and smiled a little. "But please don't throw any cookies or anything in there. I don't think I got used to it enough to stand that."  
  
So he remembered that little scene, too. The vampire couldn't hold back a chuckle. "Don't worry, blood is enough for now."  
  
"That's good."  
  
After a few moments of silence Giles spoke again. "Would you mind to move into the guest room now that you're feeling better? I mean, it's not less comfortable but I just..."  
  
"That's ok, Rupert. I understand that you want your room back. As soon as I'm alright I'll go back to my crypt anyway. Until then I'll sleep in the guest room."  
  
"Alright, but you know that you don't have to go back to your crypt so soon, don't you?"  
  
Spike knew that Giles was worrying about the nightmares he still had every night. And still he wasn't able to be alone for long, but he wanted to change that. "Yes, I know, thank you. But you must understand that it can't go on like that. I feel so... so weak. I don't want to need your help forever, I can't stand that. I'm sorry, I know you mean it well, but..." He trailed off, looked down to the ground and took a small sip of his blood.  
  
"I understand, but it's no weakness to accept help. You've been through so much lately, it's more than understandable that it's hard for you to deal with it."  
  
"My head tells me the same, but unfortunately it's hard to believe it. I want to be like I was, Rupert!"   
  
**********  
  
"... I want to be like I was, Rupert!" His voice sounded pleading, desperate and the watcher sighed sadly.  
  
"You will, Spike. But you expect too much from yourself. You are strong, you mustn't doubt that. The fact that you were not like a wild animal when you first came back proves it, doesn't it? Don't tell Buffy I said that but you are stronger than Angel. Don't be too hard on yourself, you need time."  
  
The vampire didn't say anything, he just stared at the ground, probably pretty embarassed.   
  
Giles reached out and placed a hand on his shoulder. "It will be alright, I promise."  
  
Still Spike didn't look up, but nodded nontheless. "Thanks."  
  
"You're welcome. What do you think about watching some TV? Manchester United is playing."  
  
Finally the vampire looked up again and smiled gratefully. "Sounds good."  
  
"Ok, you can go to the sofa and I will bring your stuff to the guest room. I'll be back as soon as the game starts."  
  
"I can help you."  
  
"No, it's ok. There's not much you know. I don't want you to do so much today, it's the first day that you're up."  
  
"Ok, thanks."  
  
Giles nodded and left the room.  
  
**********  
  
The next week went very well.  
  
As always Buffy and Dawn had been there for a few hours every day and the others had been there a few times, too.  
  
It was easier for Spike to walk around, his body was almost fully healed, but his soul was another matter. As soon as the doorbell rang he jumped and went directly to his room. He was still scared to be alone for longer than an hour or so and the nightmares were not getting any better.   
  
Of course he tried to be strong in front of the others, he didn't want them to pity him, he wanted to be respected like he once had been.   
  
The vampire knew that he needed to overcome his fears, fear of strangers, fear of getting hurt, fear of being alone.   
  
And so one night he got dressed and took his old coat Dawn had brought him. When he left the room Giles looked at him in surprise.  
  
"Where are you going?" The watcher asked.  
  
"Out for a walk. I need some fresh air, haven't been out for weeks."  
  
"Do you want me to come with you?"  
  
"No, I'll be fine. I won't go too far."  
  
"Alright, but wait a minute." Giles left the room for a moment and came back with a cell phone.  
  
Spike raised an eyebrow. "I didn't know that you have such a thing."  
  
"Well... Buffy bought it for me, she didn't know what to give me for my birthday. I want you to take it with you. If anything's wrong you can call me or Buffy or Xander or anyone you want. The numbers are all saved in it."  
  
"Thanks. Is it alright if I go now?"  
  
"Of course, you're no prisoner, just take one more thing with you." The watcher handed him a stake.  
  
For a moment Spike just stared down at the weapon. He didn't know if he would be able to use it. To be honest he hadn't thought about the possibilty to meet a demon out there and it somehow scared him. He didn't think that he was still able to fight and to kill, he believed that the hell demons had broken him and for a moment he even wondered why the scoobies even took care of him. He was useless to them now.  
  
But finally he nodded, took the stake and left the apartment.  
  
**********  
  
It felt better to be out than he had thought.   
  
It was a warm night and it felt good to go a little further than the few feed that lay between his room, the living room and the bathroom.  
  
He also wasn't as scared as he had thought he would be but he wasn't able to forget his fear completely. Of course there were noises, animals, the wind, and everyone of them made him jump. But he didn't bolt, he didn't panic and that was a start.  
  
He really didn't intend to go very far and after about 15 minutes he turned to go back. The time wasn't the only reason, he was very near on one of Sunnydale's cemetaries and he really didn't want to face a demon that night.   
  
He didn't feel ready yet.  
  
But suddenly Spike heared a noise from behind him. With a sigh he turned around and saw two demons with horns, long teeth and strong bodies. They weren't taller then he was and usually he would have fought against them, probably he would have been able to kill them. But now the memories of the hell demons who had tortured him for so long were fresh in his mind and he couldn't even think of fighting against those monsters.  
  
He remembered the terrible pain, the fear, the torture.  
  
All he wanted was run but for a few seconds he couldn't move, it was as if his body didn't belong to him anymore, it didn't do what he wanted, and when he was finally able to take control over himself again it was already too late.  
  
One of the demons grasped his arm and the vampire froze again.   
  
In his mind he saw what he would have done before he had been in hell, the demon would have wished never to have met him, but now it was impossible to do anything.  
  
The vampire felt so helpless.  
  
He couldn't move, couldn't fight back or at least try to flee. All he could do was wait for the pain to come.   
  
TBC 


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: This time I was fast! I need many reviews for reward (-;  
  
Chapter 7 - Talking at last  
  
To his suprise the demon's claw left his arm and he heared a terrible cry.  
  
But the vampire couldn't look up, all he could think of was getting away from here. If he would die, if that monster killed him, he would most likely go back to hell. Again he would be going through all that torture.  
  
No! He wouldn't go back there!   
  
The thought alone was too much for him already.  
  
Without thinking Spike turned around and ran.  
  
"Spike!" A voice called after him but he didn't react.  
  
**********  
  
Buffy was on patrol when she saw those two demons. They were too far away for her to kill them immediatly but she followed them as fast as she could.  
  
They were running towards a man and when he turned around she saw that it was Spike!  
  
What was he doing out here alone?  
  
She didn't have time to think about it for one of the demons attacked the vampire and held him on the arm. The slayer didn't understand why he didn't even try to break free, he stood absolutely still.  
  
Buffy took one of the long daggers Giles had given her only a few days ago, ran towards the demon and drove the dagger into the demon's back. The monster let go off Spike's arm, cried out and died.  
  
Then two things happened. Spike ran away then the other demon attacked her.   
  
Of course Buffy couldn't run after her friend before she had managed to kill the demon, but she tried to call him back.  
  
It seemed as if he hadn't heared her at all.   
  
When the second demon also lay dead on the ground she finally ran after Spike.  
  
Luckily he still wasn't as strong as he once had been and so it wasn't hard for her to catch him.  
  
First she wanted to hold him back but then she realized that this would scare him even more.   
  
So she tried to calm him first. "Spike! It's me, Buffy. Don't worry, the demons are dead, they won't harm you! Please stop!"  
  
To her surprise he listened to her immediatly. He stopped, looked at her and let out a deep sigh. She could see the relief in his eyes before they closed for a moment.  
  
But when they opened in them she could see the shame and embarassement in them. "Sorry, I was childish."  
  
"Nonsense. Are you alright?"  
  
The vamire nodded.  
  
"Don't worry, soon you will kill those demons on your own again." She tried to cheer him up but it didn't work.  
  
Sadly he shook his head. "I don't think so."  
  
"Hey, you must try to think positive! And stop thinking about what happened today. I came in time, nothing happened."  
  
"That's the point. Don't you see it?" He raised his voice, more in pain than in anger, Buffy realized. "If you hadn't come they would have killed me. I wasn't able to fight them because I was bloody afraid. If things don't get better I will always need your help. I don't want that, Buffy!"  
  
"I know." She remained calm. "Spike, it's not too long ago that you came back. You have to give yourself some time to forget. I'm sure things will get better, I promise they will."  
  
"I'm sorry I yelled at you."  
  
"Don't be, it's ok. Come, let's go home."  
  
When they reached Giles' apartment he immediatly disappeart into his room.  
  
**********  
  
The watcher, who sat on the sofa, looked at Buffy curiously.   
  
"What's wrong with him?"  
  
She sighed, walked over to the older man and sat down next to him. "Two demons attacked him."  
  
Giles frowned worriedly. "Is he alright?"  
  
"Yes, I came just in time. The problem is that he wasn't able to defend himself and he's ashamed for it."  
  
"Was he still too weak?"  
  
"I don't think so, he didn't even try. When the demon catched his arm he... froze."  
  
"Well, probably the bad memories from hell. We don't know what he's been through. He never talked about it."  
  
"That's the point." Buffy looked into his eyes.  
  
"What's the point?" Giles couldn't really follow her.  
  
"He doesn't talk about it. I think that's what he really needs. If he could let it out maybe he could learn to deal with it but he tries to forget - and he can't."  
  
"You are probably right, but we can't force him. If we tried we would probably lose his trust."  
  
"Yeah, but we should work on it. He needs to let it out, before it breaks him." There was a long silence between them. The watcher knew that she was right. Then the slayer finally stood up. "I have to finish my patrol. See you tomorrow."   
  
"Yes, good night."  
  
"And have an eye on him. He doesn't feel good at all."  
  
"I will."  
  
**********  
  
Before he went to bed he stopped at Spike's door and knocked.   
  
He didn't get an answer and first he wanted to walk in anyway, but then he hesitated.   
  
Should he really just invate the vampir's privacy?  
  
Probably not.  
  
He had to respect it.  
  
"Spike, can I come in?"   
  
He heared a sigh from inside. "Yeah. If I don't get rid of you in a different way."  
  
Giles knew that the vampire didn't mean it and so he wasn't mad of him because of the harsh words.  
  
Slowly the watcher opened the door and walked in.   
  
Spike was lying on the bed, his eyes focused on the ceiling. He didn't even look up when Giles entered the room.   
  
The human sighed.   
  
He knew this wasn't easy for the vampire and he also knew that Buffy was right. They really needed to talk about everything and Giles decided not to leave the room before they had done so.  
  
When he reached the bed he sat down on its edge and looked down at Spike. He didn't pity him, he knew that was the last thing he needed, but he wanted to help him. They had come very close during the last few weeks and the watcher had to admit that he really cared about the vampire.  
  
"How are you feeling?"  
  
A shrug, nothing else.  
  
"Buffy told me everything. Spike, it wasn't your fault. You don't have to be ashamed."  
  
Finally Spike looked at him, his blue eyes full of desperation. "I should have been able to fight them, Rupert. They were simple demons, nothing very strong or dangerous. Usually they would have been no problem for me. I feel so... so wea..."  
  
"Stop it!" Giles didn't let him finish the sentence. Of course he could understand the vampire's desperation but he couldn't let him think what he obviously did. "Never say that again! You are not weak!"  
  
Spike looked up at him with large eyes, he seemed to be confused and hurt.   
  
Immediatly the former librarian felt bad. He hadn't meant to talk so harsh. "I'm sorry," he said in a very gentle voice now. "I didn't mean to yell at you. But I don't want you to think this way. We had that talk already, remember?"  
  
"Talk?"  
  
"Yeah, I told you already that you must be very strong because you went through all that without losing your mind."  
  
"Oh, you mean that talk."  
  
"Yes, that talk. Don't you want to tell me everything? I'm sure that it will make you feel better."  
  
**********  
  
Spike looked up at him as if he had said something terrible. And to the vampire it was.  
  
How could the watcher even suggest that he would through everything again while talking about it?  
  
First he wanted to yell at him, ask him how he could even think of doing this to him - but then he looked up and met the watcher's eyes. Immediatly he felt ashamed for those thoughts.   
  
How could he ever have doubted that all Giles was doing was trying to help.   
  
He owed him so much, he had brought him here, he had taken care of his wounds, he had given him a home - yes, for the first time he realized that he felt more at home in this house than he ever had in his crypt - and most of all, he had been there for him.  
  
He really didn't deserve to be yelled at.   
  
"I don't know if I can, Rupert." He said in a tight voice.  
  
"I know it's hard. But you can't keep it in inside you forever. It will break you, Spike."  
  
He knew that the watcher was right - he needed to let it all out.  
  
But it was so hard!  
  
Giles was sitting next to him and waited patiently. His gentle eyes watched him from behind the thick glasses, but didn't stare.  
  
Spike could tell that the watcher would probably sit there until he had had some success.  
  
The vampire stopped thinking about it, he just began to talk.   
  
He talked about the demons, the torture, the starvation, the fear, the bad air...  
  
Once he had begun he just couldn't stop anymore. Everything came out automatically, every detail - everything.   
  
**********  
  
While he spoke Spike's face was like a mask, there were no emotions, no pain. He didn't stutter or pause, not even once. It was as if he felt that he couldn't go on when he stopped.  
  
But still Giles could imagine how hard it was. Of course he and the others had thought about what could have happened, but nobody had even considered something that was so bad. More than once he schuddered during the tale.  
  
When Spike had finished he finally broke down. He began to sob violently and immediatly the watcher took him into his arms.  
  
"It's ok, let it out," he whispered and gently rubbed the vampire's back.  
  
For a few minutes - or maybe hours, Giles couldn't tell - they sat like that without moving. After some time Spike stopped crying, but he didn't leave his friend's arms.   
  
Again the former librarian waited patiently and when Spike had finally calmed down completely he moved away a little. He still held the vampire's hand, though. He felt that he needed the contact now.   
  
"Spike, after all you have just told me I can tell that you are even stronger than I thought you to be. It's a wonder that you didn't lose your mind, that you didn't behave like Angel did when he first came back. You really can be proud of yourself."  
  
The vampire seemed to think about all that for a moment, then he nodded. "Maybe, but that doesn't really help me now. I just want to forget, Rupert!" The deep blue eyes were pleading and desperate.  
  
"I understand." The watcher's voice was soothing. "But I want to be honest with you. You will never forget, but I'm sure you can learn to live with it. As far as I remember you always tried to convince us all that Angel is a nancy boy?" He raised an eyebrow.  
  
"He is!" Even though the vampire's voice was hoarse from crying Giles had to smile at how abrupt the answer came. There was still something of the old, snobbish Spike in there, it just had to come out.  
  
"You should be stronger than he then, if he was able to handle it you can, too. I trust in that."   
  
Spike smiled a little. "You still don't like him, right?"  
  
"Whom?"  
  
"Oh please! You know very well that I mean peaches."  
  
Giles smiled a little embarassed. "Well, no, not at all. But don't tell Buffy."  
  
"Don't worry. Secret's safe with me." He lay back against the pillow and obviously relaxed a little. "Thanks, Rupert. I really needed that."  
  
"That's alright. You know I'm always there for you."  
  
Spike looked at him for a moment, then he nodded. "Yeah," he said simply.  
  
Then he slowly fell asleep, knowing that Giles wouldn't leave his side after what had happened tonight.  
  
TBC 


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: Sorry, I really wanted to end this sooner, but I had to work for my driving-licence. Anyway, here's the last chapter! I will keep writing "Buffy" and "Angel" stories and if you like "Lord of the Rings" please read and review my stories about that (-;  
  
Enjoy!!!  
  
Chapter 8 - A different kind of Love  
  
After that night Spike's nightmares were almost gone. Only sometimes, when something during the day had scared him too much, they came back. But only for one night, then they were gone again.  
  
When something reminded him of the time in hell he finally was able to talk to Giles about it, about what had scared him and why.  
  
The watcher realized that Spike had become very trusting towards him, of course he obviously trusted and loved the others, especially Buffy and Dawn, as well, but it was just different when he was alone with him. He suggested that the vampire probably saw something like a father figure in him, and when he was totally honest to himself he had also grown very close to him. Just as close as Buffy was to him, he suddenly realized with a small smile on his lips.  
  
When Spike had lived with him after he had first gotten the chip he had never thought that it would ever be possible that he would like him at all. The vampire had been getting on his nerves all the time and now he thought that he would actually miss something if he moved out again one day.   
  
But for now this day was still far away for Spike wouldn't be able to live alone for some time.   
  
Of course he was getting better every day and he made a great progress but he still needed him sometimes - to talk, to calm him or to go out with him. After that experience with the demons he hadn't dared to go out alone and so he only went out with Giles or Buffy on his side.   
  
Until that day.  
  
It was nearly three months ago that Spike had gone out alone for the first time. When the sun had just gone down he came out of his room, fully dressed and ready to go.  
  
Giles was more than a little surprised. "Did I forget that we wanted to go somewhere?"  
  
Spike smiled a little and shook his head. "No, I didn't tell you yet that I wanted to go out tonight."  
  
"Oh, well, that's no problem at all. Just give me a minute and..." He already started to get up when the vampire stopped him.  
  
"No, it's ok. You don't have to come. I just want to get something as long as the shops are still open. By the way..." He smiled a little embarassed. "You could borrow me some money? There should still be some in my crypt, I'll ask Buffy to get it for me and then you'll get it back."  
  
"Of course." Giles stood up and walked to the kitchen where he had left his purse. "Are twenty Dollars enough?"  
  
"Sure, I won't even need that much. I'll give you the rest as soon as I'm back."  
  
"Alright." He gave the money over to the vampire. "Are you sure that you want to go alone?"  
  
"Yeah. I just wanna go to the Mall, that's not far you know."  
  
"That's true but..."  
  
"Don't worry, I'll take that with me." He took a stake and a short dagger from Giles' weapons and held them up, before hiding both weapons under his coat.  
  
The watcher was still not happy with the idea, since he had nearly gotten himself killed three months ago Spike hadn't faced a demon or a vampire.  
  
But on the other hand he couldn't hold him back if he was determined to go alone. As Giles had once told him, he wasn't a prisoner. He could go where he wanted whenever he wanted to.  
  
Slowly he went back into the living room.  
  
"Thanks, Rupert," Spike said when he took the money. "I'll be back in half an hour, or in an hour at the latest. I don't think it will take that long."  
  
"Wait!" The watcher said when Spike turned to go and quickly gave him the cell phone that had laid on the table next to the sofa. "Please call me if it takes you longer than half an hour."   
  
He feared that this would make the vampire angry, that he would ask him not to baby him or something like that - but to the human's surprise Spike only smiled a little. "Sure, see ya later."  
  
With that he left the apartment.  
  
**********  
  
Spike sat in his room and was more than just bored.  
  
He didn't want to watch TV and he also didn't want to go anywhere with Giles.   
  
Finally he decided to go to the Mall. He had wanted to get something for weeks but he had been a little embarrassed to ask someone to get it for him.  
  
Even though it still scared him a little he wanted to go out alone. He didn't want Giles to help him forever, he needed to get more independent again.  
  
He got dressed and walked out into the living room.  
  
When the watcher turned around to looked at him he was obviously a little surprised and asked him if they had planned to go somewhere.  
  
Spike told him that they hadn't and when the other wanted to get dressed he explained that he wanted to go to the Mall alone and asked him for some money.  
  
He felt a little bad about that because Giles had done so much for him already but he needed that money and he didn't want to go to the cemetery to get his own. Tomorrow he would ask Buffy to get it for him so he could pay it back.  
  
Of course the former librarian got up to get the money from the kitchen.   
  
"Are you sure that you want to go alone?" He asked  
  
"Yeah. I just wanna go to the Mall, that's not far you know."  
  
"That's true but..."  
  
Spike didn't want Giles to worry and so he walked over to the trunk Giles kept his weapons in. He opened it and quickly decided for a stake and a short dagger, showed them to Giles and hid them under his duster. He knew he wouldn't be able to use them if he met any demons, his fear would prevent it. But he hoped that it would calm the human a little.  
  
Then he got the money and already turned to go.  
  
"Thanks, Rupert. I'll be back in half an hour, or in an hour at the latest. I don't think it will take that long."  
  
"Wait!" The vampire turned around once more. The watcher came towards him and gave him the cell phone. "Please call me if it takes you longer than half an hour."  
  
He couldn't help but smile a little. Usually he would have told Giles that he wasn't a child and that he didn't need to worry - but somehow he liked it. Of course he didn't want his friend to worry, but it felt good to know that he cared. "Sure," he said, trying very hard to hold back his emotions. "See ya later."  
  
**********  
  
Giles stood on the window until he couldn't see him anymore.  
  
He shook his head and sat down on the sofa again to watch some TV.  
  
The problem was that he couldn't help being nervous. Of course he knew that Spike was strong, but he was totally out of training. The vampire hadn't fought any demon in hundreds of years, in hell it had been that long, and Giles knew that he probably wouldn't be able to fight anything, even if he was able to overcome his fear.   
  
But it was not likely that he would meet demons or vampires so soon in the evening, at least not so far away from the cemeteries or other places where those monsters were hiding.  
  
Still the watcher couldn't shake off his worry.  
  
After 25 minutes the door finally opened again and Spike came in.  
  
"Hey Rupes."  
  
"Hello." He hated it when he Spike called him 'Rupes', but he was too relieved to be angry.  
  
"Are you alright?"  
  
"Sure, I've seen nothing with sharp teeth or big horns. There are three Dollars left. I'll put them on the kitchen table."  
  
"Ok." Giles turned around to look at the vampire who now searched for something in the kitchen. He really looked alright he even smiled at the watcher when he realized that he was looking on him.  
  
Then he found the scissors in one of the drawers and went into the bathroom. On the way there he put the weapons back to their place.   
  
The former librarian slightly wondered what was going on - and he wondered even more when Spike didn't come out for an hour or even a little more. Now and then he could hear the shower, but that was all. Before the vampire came out he heard the hair-dryer.   
  
Had Spike needed more than an hour to wash his hair?  
  
"Are you alright in there?"  
  
"Sure, I'll be out in a second. Do you have to use the bathroom?"  
  
"No, I was just worried."  
  
"Don't be, I'm fine."  
  
"Well, alright."  
  
A few minutes later Spike came out and Giles had to smile.   
  
Now he understood what he had wanted to buy.   
  
Hair color and gel.  
  
Now he really looked like the old Spike again, his hair was cut short, blond and lay tightly against his head.   
  
"You look good."  
  
"Thanks." The vampire sat down next to him on the sofa.   
  
"May I ask you something?" The human asked after a few minutes of silence.  
  
"Sure, what is it?"  
  
"How do you cut your hair without looking into the mirror?"  
  
Now Spike grinned at him. "Years of hard practise."  
  
"Ah, I see."  
  
**********  
  
The next evening somebody knocked on the door.   
  
"Could you go please?" Giles asked because he was busy with cooking his meal.  
  
Spike, who was sitting on the sofa and reading a book, nodded and got up.   
  
When he opened the door Buffy stood before him and smiled a beautiful smile. Still he loved that woman so much. But he didn't tell her this time. During the last few weeks they had built up a wonderful friendship he really didn't want to ruin. "Hey." She looked up and smiled. "I like your hair."  
  
"Thanks. Wanna come in?"  
  
"No, I just wanted to ask you if you wanna patrol with me."  
  
Now Giles also looked up, waiting for the vampire to answer. Maybe it would be good for him, but on the other hand it would probably be better if he had some training first. Maybe he would feel even worse if he wasn't able to fight back again.  
  
Well, it was his decision and if Buffy was with him it wouldn't be too dangerous.  
  
First Spike hesitated, then he answered slowly. "No, I don't think..."  
  
"Oh, come on! We'll have some fun, kick the asses of some vamps and then..." She smiled brightly at her watcher. "... Giles will give us cookies."  
  
"Sounds good, but I really don't think I can, Buffy."  
  
Giles shook his head.   
  
Still the vampire didn't have the self-confidence he needed.  
  
"Really?" The slayer asked. "Last chance."  
  
"Sorry, maybe some other day."  
  
"Ok, you can come whenever you feel like it. Just call me."  
  
Spike nodded. "I will."  
  
Buffy shrugged. "Ok. Bye, you two."   
  
Then she left.  
  
**********  
  
"You know that Buffy would have been careful. I don't think that anything would have happened."  
  
"I know, Rupert." He sat down on the sofa again. "But I still don't think that I can face a demon yet. I don't want Buffy to take care of me and I didn't have training for years."  
  
Giles smiled a little. So Spike saw the problem himself.   
  
That was good.  
  
"I know." The watcher put the food he had started to prepare back into the fridge. "Get dressed and come with me."  
  
"Where are we going?"   
  
"To the Magic Box."  
  
"And what are we doing there?"  
  
"Training."  
  
**********  
  
Now they trained every day.  
  
First Spike had been very reserved, but after a week or so he slowly became better again. And he was very ambitious suddenly. Every night he trained for at least three hours and Giles realized with contentment that the strong muscles he had had before he had been in hell slowly built up again. Well, maybe not that slow. If Spike had been human it would have taken him much longer.  
  
The others didn't know about the training, Giles wanted to give Spike as much time as he needed to become strong once more. He didn't want their friends to ask him constantly when he would be ready to face a demon.   
  
After a little more than a month the watcher sat down on the table in front of the vampire. "Do you remember what Buffy told you when she wanted to patrol with you?"  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"She said that you should tell her if you wanted to accompany her."  
  
"Oh, yeah. I remember." Spike knew what the watcher was about to say and it somehow made him uncomfortable.  
  
"She told you that you should call her if you want to patrol with her."  
  
"Yeah, I know. And you think it's about time."  
  
"No, I only wanted to tell you that physically you are strong enough now. I don't want to talk you into anything you don't want yourself, but you're training so hard because you want to fight demons and vampires again, don't you?"  
  
Spike nodded. Giles was right he wanted to help them. Since he had come back he felt so useless, they all did so much for him and he couldn't do anything in return. "You're right. I'll call her, maybe she's not out yet."  
  
Giles nodded. It was probably the best if he went out with the slayer tonight. If he waited too long he would most likely change his mind again.  
  
**********  
  
"Dawn, I go out to patrol. Stay in the house!"  
  
The teenager rolled her eyes. Some things never changed, after she had done the spell it had been even worse. Every night before she had gone out to patrol Buffy had told her not to go out of the house and not to do any spells. Luckily she had stopped `saying the spell-thing. "You're telling me that every night! I'm not a child, you know."  
  
"Yes, I know. I guess I'm just worried."  
  
Dawn only rolled her eyes again and turned to go.  
  
Buffy had left the house already when the telephone rang.   
  
Her younger sister picked it up. "Yes?"  
  
"It's me, Nibblet. Is Buffy at home?"  
  
"Wait a second, she just went out. I think I can still catch her." She ran to the door, opened it and yelled: "Buffy! Spike's on the phone."  
  
The slayer was already on the end of the road and sighed. "He couldn't have called a minute earlier now, could he?" She mumbled to herself and slowly went back to the house.  
  
While she was on her way Dawn picked up the phone again. "She's on her way."  
  
"Thanks, bit."  
  
"Do you have time tomorrow? I wanted to go to the cinema and..." she quickly looked to the door to make sure that Buffy was not there yet. "... it's a horror movie. The others wouldn't go with me. They don't want me to see stuff like that. Do you go with me?"  
  
She heard a silent laugh on the other end of the line. "You think I'd go with you into a movie your sister doesn't want you to see?"   
  
"We don't have to tell her. We can tell her that we wanna go into a different movie. And I'll pay."  
  
Spike thought for a moment. "Ok, I'll pick you up tomorrow at 8 o'clock. Alright?"  
  
Dawn smiled brightly. Slowly he was becoming the old Spike again. "Yes. Oh, Buffy is coming. See ya tomorrow."  
  
She handed the receiver to her older sister.   
  
"Hi Spike. What is it?"  
  
"A few weeks ago you said that I could go patrolling with you if I wanted to."  
  
Buffy grinned. "Yes, want me to pick you up?" She asked hopefully. Since he had come back she had spent much time with him and she always had had the feeling that there was something he was missing. One time he had even hinted that he thought that he was useless to her and the rest of the Scoobies. She really didn't want him to feel that way.  
  
Not after all he had done.  
  
"Yeah, I think I'm ready for it now."  
  
"Great! I'll be there in ten minutes. And don't you dare to change your mind! I've been patrolling alone for too long, it's rather boring."  
  
He laughed a little, but the slayer couldn't help but think that it sounded nervous. "Don't worry. I won't change my mind."  
  
**********  
  
When the doorbell rang Giles could see that Spike jumped a little. Of course he could understand the vampire's nervousness, he would fight demons again for the first time. This wouldn't be easy but the watcher was sure that he would make it. He watched how Spike took his old duster and the weapons - a stake and a dagger. The same things he had taken with him when he had first gone out alone. The difference was that he probably wouldn't have been able to use it back then. Now he would - if he didn't panic.  
  
Spike opened the door. "Hi, Buff!"  
  
"Hey! Ready?"  
  
"Sure."  
  
"Wait a minute." The slayer went into the apartment and walked over to Giles. "What do you think about paying us some ice cream?"  
  
"Ice cream?"  
  
"Yeah, the cold stuff you can eat. Spike and I could go and eat some of that after patrolling, but only if..."  
  
"Ok, I got it. Only if I pay it" The watcher took his purse and gave her 15 Dollars.  
  
She smiled at him brightly. "Thanks." Then she turned around, headed for the door and looked at Spike. "Let's go."  
  
**********  
  
They went to the cemetery where Spike's crypt had been. Buffy had figured that it would be easier for him there because he knew it better than any of the other 11 cemeteries in Sunnydale.   
  
Well, at least he had a few hundred years ago.  
  
She briefly wondered just how many details he had forgotten in such a long time.  
  
But she watched him closely and even though he had been hesitating first his gestures now spoke of confidence and calmness. He didn't seem to be afraid anymore.  
  
After about twenty minutes Buffy suddenly stopped walking and rolled her eyes. "Isn't here anything that wants to get killed? Hello!?" She asked aloud.  
  
Spike raised an eyebrow. "Shouldn't you ask 'Isn't there anything that wants to fight?'? I mean, give me one being that wants to get killed."  
  
"Don't be sarcastic," she said dryly. "It's just that we walk around for nearly twenty minutes now and there's nothing to fight. Isn't that disappointing?"   
  
"Yeah, absolutely. No suicidal demon tonight, that's pathetic."  
  
She laughed a little. "Yeah, that's hard. Why don't we..."  
  
Buffy couldn't finish the sentence because two vampires attacked from behind. They were pretty strong and after a few minutes of fighting the one who had attacked the slayer sat on her stomach and tried to bite her. But before he could do that he... turned into dust.   
  
In utter surprise Buffy looked up and saw Spike standing before her. In one hand he still held the stake, with the other he reached out to help her up.  
  
When she stood on her feet again she smiled at him. "Wow, that was great." She looked around. The other vampire was nowhere to be seen, Spike had probably killed him, too.   
  
The vampire just shrugged. "It was no big deal."  
  
"No? Can I be honest?"  
  
He nodded.  
  
"I thought that I would have to look after you, now it was the other way around."  
  
"Yeah, I have no idea how you got along without me for so long."  
  
The slayer rolled her eyes. "You..." She broke up and laughed. "I shouldn't complain. I think it was last week when I told you that you should go back to your old self."  
  
"Not really, it was two days ago."  
  
"Oh. Ok, thanks for doing everything I say so quickly." She thought for a moment. "Would you..."  
  
"No."  
  
"Hey, you didn't even know what I was going to say!" Looking up at him she pouted playfully.  
  
"No, but I know you well enough to be sure that it was something stupid."  
  
She glared at him. "You know you're playing with your life, don't you?" Abruptly she changed the subject. "You're in a great form for not having fought for years."  
  
"Well, Giles has trained me for four or five weeks."  
  
"Ah, I see. You cheated."  
  
"I did what!? Do I cheat when I train?"  
  
"If I don't know about it, yes." She grinned at him. "But I forgive you."  
  
"Oh, thanks for your mercy." He rolled his eyes.  
  
"What about the ice cream now?"  
  
"Already? You only patrol for 30 minutes lately?"  
  
"Well, usually not. But we can make an exception. We could go patrolling together more often now, so - what do you think?"  
  
"Sure, let's go."  
  
**********  
  
It was good to see that Spike was feeling so much better.  
  
Buffy had been very worried since the vampire had returned; she actually had feared that he wouldn't get over it at all.   
  
And she hadn't been able to stop feeling guilty about that.   
  
After all he had died for her - because he had loved her.   
  
She wondered if he still felt that way. He hadn't mentioned it anymore, but she just couldn't go on ignoring his feelings. Before he had been in hell she had told herself that he wasn't able to feel at all because of the lack of a soul, but now she knew how wrong she had been. His feelings were as true as he had always pretended and if she wanted or not, she had to deal with them.   
  
This time she had to be fair.  
  
And she had to show him that he meant a lot to her, even though she didn't love him.  
  
When they sat in the café and ate their ice cream Buffy decided to start a conversation, they had been silent until then and it became quiet uncomfortable.  
  
"Spike, I think we need to talk about something."  
  
He looked up. "About what?"  
  
"Well, we didn't mention it yet, but you... you sacrificed yourself for me."  
  
A weak, even embarrassed smile formed on the vampire's lips. "Yeah, but that's ok."  
  
"No, that's not ok. You suffered so much just because of me - because I couldn't take care of myself." She paused a moment, it was hard to talk about that. "I will never forget that, Spike, never. You know, you can always count on me."  
  
He nodded and she realized that it wasn't easy for him either.   
  
"May I ask you something?" The slayer asked carefully.   
  
"Sure."  
  
"Do you still love me?"  
  
There was a long silence between them, then Spike finally answered. "Yes."  
  
She nodded and wanted to say something but he quickly made eye-contact and cut her off. "I understand now that you will never return my feelings and I won't start stalking you again, so don't worry about that."  
  
Buffy smiled, he really had changed. "I didn't worry about that." It was true, she realized a little surprised. "It's just... Can you deal?"  
  
**********  
  
He saw the worry in her eyes and smiled a little. But he didn't answer immediately; he didn't know the answer himself.   
  
Could he deal?   
  
Yes, he decided. He would never have her love but if he tried to get it again he would lose her friendship as well.  
  
And that was the last thing he wanted.  
  
"I can deal", he said. "Don't worry, your friendship is enough for me now. I hope to keep it."  
  
Still he was looking into her eyes but now he bowed his head.   
  
The café was nearly empty and they sat in a corner where they had some privacy. Spike was more than glad about that. He needed the silence now and he could tell that Buffy felt the same.  
  
The vampire still didn't look up; he didn't dare to. He feared that she would tell him too keep some distance now - that it would be better for both of them.   
  
But he heard her standing up and walking over to him. Spike didn't look up until she sat next to him.  
  
**********  
  
"I can deal. Don't worry, your friendship is enough for me now. I hope to keep it." With the last words his voice broke and he lowered his gaze, breaking the eye-contact.  
  
Buffy felt tears coming to her eyes, she knew it was hard to love someone without any hope to get him and she admired his bravery.  
  
But she also felt sad because she felt that he still didn't trust her, her loyalty, completely. Well, she couldn't blame him. She had treated him like dirt before he had given his life for her. Now she couldn't expect him to forget everything; that was too much to ask.   
  
It would take some time before everything would be alright, but she knew she would do anything for it.  
  
He still didn't look up and she knew that he was trying to fight back tears.  
  
Slowly Buffy stood up, only to walk a few steps and sit down next to him.   
  
Almost reluctantly he lifted his head and looked at her, his bright blue eyes swimming with unshed tears; just like her own.  
  
"You will keep it forever" she whispered and embraced him gently.  
  
The End 


End file.
